Sunday 1 November 2020

This is My Body

Multiple Sclerosis is a disease of the central nervous system.

The brain, spinal cord, and optic nerves.

All three of those areas are affected in my body.  Through lesions visible on MRI, blindness or corresponding symptoms.

We often don't talk about the symptoms of the medications themselves.  

Our treatments.  Our hope.

I have switched medications many times, hoping for "the one."  But it hasn't happened yet.  So I end up back in my safe space, with a medication that doesn't make my body more sick, or revolt into immune war.

The downside is skin issues.  I don't normally talk about this (Or pull my pants down to show you). But here we go...

I do a daily injection.  And this is what it looks like afterwards.  Seven different spots on my body, rotated around each time.  Thighs, stomach, arms, hips.

I need to switch the injection locations because of lipoatrophy (the localized loss of the body's fat cells from repeated injections).  These bruises turn into permanent dents and depressions in my skin that I hate.  Yes, they are my battle scars, and yes, they are proof something is helping my life.  I am proud that I take medication to help me.  I am proud that health comes before vanity.  But almost 10 years of this isn't fun, isn't pretty, and it hurts.  

The part of a disease we don't often see - what we need to do to treat it.