I went to buy a bottle of bubbly for tonight and, while paying, was asked what my resolutions for 2013 are. I stood there, silent and stunned. A million thoughts ran through my head. I could have had an hour long conversation with this man - pouring out every last thought and detail - right from the bottom of my soul. Everything that has happened in 2012, and why I will be so glad to see it gone. Instead, I told him I try not to make resolutions. They turn life into something "achievable" rather than something to enjoy.
That being said - 2012 was a very difficult year for me. It has brought a multitude of huge changes in my life. Changes that will never go away. Changes that have been excruciating and confusing to accept. I don't anticipate that the dawn of a new year will make those emotions disappear. It is impossible for them to simply vanish.
But 2013 will bring a new start. It will not be the year I got diagnosed. It will not be the year my concept of me got flipped on its axis.
So, tonight, with my bubbly, rather than welcome 2013 with a list of resolutions, I will excitedly, yet probably with tears, say goodbye to 2012. My hope for 2013 is one of health and happiness.
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