Here's what a month's worth of medication looks like. These are the cartridges that get filled into the injector. The needles get attached after these suckers are in. Anti-climatic if you ask me.
Now I wait for my (free) $1500 "Rebismart autoinjector" to get the job done for me.
http://www.rebismart.com/en/index.html
After I collected my drugs, my sharps container, bought a lock box for the fridge (because, you know, my kids are crazy, and would somehow find a way to inject themselves with MS drugs), I sat for a few minutes in the parking lot. A non-descript plastic bag held all this stuff. I looked like any other shopper (except maybe to the woman staring at me as I discussed syringe disposal with the pharmacist and how big a sharps container I would need).
It's all unpacked now - all my new gear. I took a warm bath and had a good cry. Each day that passes brings a new level of realness to this. And right now it feels like a sucker-punch to the guts. You know... that slightly home-sick feeling of "how things used to be." Knowing that my reality - now sitting there in the fridge - is about to start. It is a bittersweet feeling - I am choosing to do this - to take these drugs. Choosing to feel scared and worried because of it. But I know I have to hold onto the hope that somewhere along the road, these drugs will help me.
And now - this lady is going to have a glass of wine!
You're a very strong woman :)
ReplyDeleteAnd let it be known, that strong women do indeed cry and have really bad days where you just feel like staying in bed. You're strong because you're able to finish crying, get out of bed and move forward. :)